She's Tits Up

So Anna Nicole Smith bit the big one. Someone tell me why this is news. And why, after almost two weeks, it's still news. I don't get it. She had big tits. And that's it. Why is she a national treasure all of a sudden? She didn't cure cancer or put an end to war. She just had big tits. I didn't care about her when she was alive, and I'm even less interested now that she's become one with the Force. Get this shit off my television. I can't even watch CNN without hearing about a custody battle. No less than THREE men think they are the father. Now her hillbilly parents are involved, so everyone in the country who sees these two dipshits think they are representative of the majority of Texans, that we all wear ten-gallon hats and have single-digit IQs. Get this shit off my television. How about some news on our lying, incompetent, monkey-faced president and how he is systematically destroying the country. I guess that's not as sexy as big tits.